Day 28 What do you regret the most?
I generally don't regret much as I think that everything you do creates something & all of it leads to you are. For example I'm not happy about being divorced but if we had never gotten married I wouldn't have my wonderful daughter.
However I have made at least one HUGE mistake that I'd wipe right off my record if I could. By December 2012 my fiance & I were not getting along well at all. Our relationship had broken down & we weren't even really speaking. I wanted desperately to move out of the awful place where we were living. I started looking around for income-based housing & ended up finding a place I could afford in my hometown which was about 30-45 minutes away. Leaving was very difficult. I missed him terribly. During this time I was looking to move out I had started talking to a guy that I went to high school with & that lived back where we were from. Once I had moved in back home my mom moved in with me to help me with my daughter & to help pay the bills. I let this guy move into my home as well. It wasn't very long before I began to realize that this guy had not told me one ounce of truth. He had no driver's licence, no job, no place to live. He was in trouble with the law, had had DUI's & even had an outstanding warrant for his arrest! All sorts of things were going wrong. This boy was not working & contributing anything to the household. He was stealing from me & lying to me. After a month I had had enough & began trying to get him to leave. Of course he refused & caused me all sorts of problems. I finally managed to get through to him that he needed to go. I was no longer interested & he was a toxic person for my family to be around. Plus, I wanted my fiance back. I had thought I would be better off without him. All I was was miserable. I do not know how he managed to find it in himself to take me back. We talked & agreed that we had both caused some of the problems that led to our break up & we wanted to do whatever we had to do to put our family back together.
If only it was that easy. I still haven't totally shaken this ridiculous guy. He was in my life for a total of 2 months. That's all. Maybe 8 weeks. He still can't let go. My fiance & I hired a lawyer. I got a restraining order. Once we got back together, my fiance & I stayed in my hometown where out daughter was doing great in her new school but we moved into a new house to start over fresh & get away from the drama of this situation. We went to court several times, he made up false reports on me to the sheriff's office saying I was stalking him. He went around telling people we were married. It was a real mess. I am just now getting the very last pieces of my life that he disrupted back into place & this all ended at the beginning of February. He continues to call & harass me. Just 3 nights ago I got a few calls at 1:30ish in the morning. I deeply regret the pain I caused my fiance. Even though we are back together & stronger than ever because we realized how much we wanted to be together & had to go through hell to get us back. I wish I had never involved my daughter (even though we shielded her just as much as possible). I feel bad that I had to put my mom through all the drama of this guy. If I could say there is one regret I have it would be that whole situation. Not one good thing came from that & I wish that I could take it all back. But since I can't I tried to take a lesson & never take for granted the things I am blessed to have.
However I have made at least one HUGE mistake that I'd wipe right off my record if I could. By December 2012 my fiance & I were not getting along well at all. Our relationship had broken down & we weren't even really speaking. I wanted desperately to move out of the awful place where we were living. I started looking around for income-based housing & ended up finding a place I could afford in my hometown which was about 30-45 minutes away. Leaving was very difficult. I missed him terribly. During this time I was looking to move out I had started talking to a guy that I went to high school with & that lived back where we were from. Once I had moved in back home my mom moved in with me to help me with my daughter & to help pay the bills. I let this guy move into my home as well. It wasn't very long before I began to realize that this guy had not told me one ounce of truth. He had no driver's licence, no job, no place to live. He was in trouble with the law, had had DUI's & even had an outstanding warrant for his arrest! All sorts of things were going wrong. This boy was not working & contributing anything to the household. He was stealing from me & lying to me. After a month I had had enough & began trying to get him to leave. Of course he refused & caused me all sorts of problems. I finally managed to get through to him that he needed to go. I was no longer interested & he was a toxic person for my family to be around. Plus, I wanted my fiance back. I had thought I would be better off without him. All I was was miserable. I do not know how he managed to find it in himself to take me back. We talked & agreed that we had both caused some of the problems that led to our break up & we wanted to do whatever we had to do to put our family back together.
If only it was that easy. I still haven't totally shaken this ridiculous guy. He was in my life for a total of 2 months. That's all. Maybe 8 weeks. He still can't let go. My fiance & I hired a lawyer. I got a restraining order. Once we got back together, my fiance & I stayed in my hometown where out daughter was doing great in her new school but we moved into a new house to start over fresh & get away from the drama of this situation. We went to court several times, he made up false reports on me to the sheriff's office saying I was stalking him. He went around telling people we were married. It was a real mess. I am just now getting the very last pieces of my life that he disrupted back into place & this all ended at the beginning of February. He continues to call & harass me. Just 3 nights ago I got a few calls at 1:30ish in the morning. I deeply regret the pain I caused my fiance. Even though we are back together & stronger than ever because we realized how much we wanted to be together & had to go through hell to get us back. I wish I had never involved my daughter (even though we shielded her just as much as possible). I feel bad that I had to put my mom through all the drama of this guy. If I could say there is one regret I have it would be that whole situation. Not one good thing came from that & I wish that I could take it all back. But since I can't I tried to take a lesson & never take for granted the things I am blessed to have.
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